Green ‘n’ Black

hey fit, msg me when u are free or something…maybe we can go for lunch or smth..gather all our classmates in NTU…

to think abt it, i am really proud of my classmates of secondary school.when all our teachers used to think that we could never make it, i feel that some of us are doing better that those express students of our “era”! Esp the annoying ex-vp, can’t remember her name, she used to hate NA studenta and express it by passing comments that we have bad handwritings and attitudes blah blah, kudos to us! We are better off than some students out that, so get urself a life u pathetic moron!ha ha..

Back in hall right now, printing all the necessary tutorial stuff and all…it is high time i start studying and do my work! I have been playing ard for the past few months, so time to put on my serious cap!ha ha..weekends were fun..went to malaysia on national day!!ain’t i a patriotic sgporean?! i know!!Frankly speaking, when i was standing at the malaysian immigration office, which was extremely packed, I was really glad that i was a singaporean!thank god for that!

Yesterday, went to grandma’s place for prayers and most of my realtives were there…and i dislike their attitudes..it just disgusts me at times!they are simply annoying at times..and my annoying uncle and aunt came to realise that i am riding all thanks to my wonderful dad.Boy! u shld look at their face it was green and black!and they were so pissed off and stunned and irritated!! haha all the emotions expressed at once!and then he started to utter rubbish to my niece who was hurt by his insensitive words and started tellin me all the nonsense!I felt like riding my bike over him and smashing his skull!ass hole!I used to think that people changed with time but this ass hole will never change, they will never be able to understand the feelings of a human!morons la!aiyoh!so annoying!wonder how are my parents going to carry out my bro’s wedding with all these bastards!

i really hope that this week will be good now that we are starting school proper, with the tutorials and practicals coming in!

Day 1 of school

Coincidences make life interesting…i remember vividly that when i first started poly, my very first lesson was for physiology and it was about the components of blood. And guess what?! today in uni, my very first lesson was for physiology except that it was introductory lecture…In the hall room now, having the room to myself, cos roomie is busy with outside stuff and bestie went back home to get stuff..and the worst part, i don’t have sch tmr!gosh! a whole day on my own, have not decided what to do..prob go temple or go ard the school cos i can’t get ard and talking abt directions, today i was lost, not alone but together with my fren, we were late for lecture!gosh!hopefully this attitude doesn’t persist! so when we step into the lecture hall, we got the shock of our lives, everyone had their notes!!except for the 2 of us(i think so)!

Can’t seem to concentrate much!short attention span is very frustrating! I must persist..hopefully cope well in this course!My mom misses me a lot!! She called me a few times already asking me what i had for lunch dinner…I have not missed home..not yet at least..prob because i want to do this badly to help myself grow to be an independent person and a better person who is able to make proper decisions and is discipline not playful.

Accompany frens to NIE for lunch, boy, there were so many indians!Will not be going there for some time i guess..I really hope that I don’t bump into them…and i really wish/hope/pray i get the module i want!!

Start of NTU!

Well, tmr i will be embarking on a journery towards wisdom and goodness for mankind, yes, school starts tmr!After few months of all play and no study, my neurons are going to be strained from tmr onwards!and hopefully with God’s grace, I’ll be able to finish it and become a fine young lady with great wisdom to pass on to the future generation and the wonderful kids.

May the Lord Bless us all!

Move ur legs la!idiot!

I think of all days, past few days were the like the toughest so far.Understanding individuals is the most difficult things in life..and i thought i was the sensitive one.At times people say the meanest things to me straight on my face and I should have voiced out but instead i just let it be. It is not that i don’t have feelings and i am so numb, prob it is just my character to not pick a fight and let the people with high levels of stupidity do the talking…and that is the greatest mistake i made and it is hitting me right across my cheeks now!If i were to really take my time and list out, I can bet with u that u have said the most meanest insults and passed the most sarcastic remarks..and now u are simply telling me it is all my fault! I am disgusted!Get a life dude and don’t just vent it on me! It is just making me feel that i should never joke around with assholes and idiots..cos they’ll get back to really bad!

So with all these mishaps that has happened to me over the days, i have decided to retreat myself away from this stuff and hold my tongue..take time to settle down and just be away from all these earthlings.

fuck these baskets who are out there to ruin my mood each day..bastard who simply have too much to think about meaningless stuff!!clearly indicates the amount of annoyance that they have caused me!JERKS!

Past and Present

I don’t know if i am doing the right thing, because somehow, my feelings or instincts are telling me go the other way and probably there is a better one ahead!This could be due to the circle of friends or companies that make me feel uncomfortable, i just don’t want to be related to this particular group. I just don’t want to walk down memory lane again. Yet, I also feel that I am expecting too much of perfection that doesn’t exist in this world! Being the complicated person that i am, I am stuck and totally unsure about what to do!

Probably I should simply ignore it and just like go with the flow.Like really not be bothered by anything..i thinK I should do that…

Whines of Sunday!

Hello people!! I am not dead after my 100th post..don’t worry I will live to tell a legend!!been busy packing stuff and cleaning out my room and the house! and all these cleanings done to achieve the ultimate trophy for the most cleanest house, my internet connection gets disrupted so that distinctively explains the reason for my absence ( like anyone is going to miss me )!!

Yati, I just saw your comment! Don’t worry babe, hopefully i wld dress to kill all the single and available guys that will turn out for the wedding and win a date!!like i mentioned hopefully! to think that i dun even noe how to tie a saree is very comforting right now!!

anw, back to whines of my life, SCHOOL IS GOING TO START!!!after months of going without touching books or doing things that are related to life sciences, i going back to school soon!!It is a mixed feeling, a tender balance between happiness and sadness, and i am never good at handling that kind of feeling!!like someone says, i will get use to it..but it takes time and i really dun noe how much time it is going to take! it is just another phase of life and it will be done soon!

It is sunday. Back during my schooling days, I used to hate Sundays! Because of a simple reason that i have to head back to school and hand up my homework and all! that feeling sucks big time! and soon it is going  to hit me that i might have to spend some sundays alone in my room with nothing but just my notes, or doing the laundry with a cup of unsweetened and pale brown coffee that tastes like plain water which has coffee flavour to it!But on the brighter note, at least i’ve got something, a life to live!

1-0-0th!!

alrighty..this is my 100th post!!can’t believe that my blog survived it’s 100th day of existence!! a lot of emotions and feelings being expressed, it is definitely not easy to maintain a blog at times..:(!

anw..since it is my 100th post, i shall blog about happy stuff..finally got over something that has been really very demanding towards me, like finally!been helping my parents with my bro’s wedding stuff lately..i dun noe why am i working like as if it is my wedding?!why can’t my bro just take some initiative or something..tuition has been quite time-consuming too..and i really dun noe how am i going to handle everything when term starts and wedding date draws nearer…it freaks the hell out me each night..

just got the notification that i’ll be staying in hall 12..and have to pay up upfront fees..i’ve decided that i am going to be as independent as possible and try to pay these fees all by myself..i mean i am 20, i should be able to do it..and really not worn out my parent’s savings…i still got other dues to pay back..journey to the west tmr just to pay hostel fees..hopefully it doesn’t rain and dampen my spirits, and as a result, me sleeping in.

Gorging On!

Been eating a lot lately..guess i’m evacuating all the rage on food..just stuffing myself down with food and sweets!that’s bad..but i’ll get over it soon!the last time that i was stuck in this phase was when i was doing my fyp with a wastrel by my side..so if i can do that i can do anything!

Sometimes i can’t seem to understand if people are just avoiding company or just plain busy with things to do. i’ve got my pride too, but being the younger one i have given in too much..so this gotta stop, i would not like to be an option or not a priority on your list at all, the feeling just sucks..i am definitely not being egotistic cos i have been at the receiving end..so i am just gonna quit trying the crap to work and just go on with ma life..

i almost fainted today at orchard, suddenly was out of breath and felt so dizzy ( although i’ll have similar symptoms when i see a hot guy) this was way too scary..i was alone and the last thing i wanna do is faint in orchard…so rushed to the nearest store to pump up my glucose level up and was feeling a little better..so i quickly went back home..took medicine and slept..

my house is undergoing renovations and it is being painted…and sadly and weirdly one of the workers looks like my first crush! ha ha..gosh the resemblance is almost a 90% hit! seriously..dun worry i do not have a crush on the worker..ha ha..but it just amazes me that the 0.01% dna difference does not make a big difference at times..and the lives that people lead..

Happy souls and me!

I am finally stepping out of the delusion that i had been lost in for a very long time…although i can’t seem to accept it, I am trying my very best to deal with it the best possible way. I really don’t know how will i react if i ever have to face the happy souls, but i really going to pray hard that our paths will not cross in this birth! Please.

Well, mon went to little india to purchase all the clothing for bro’s wedding…boy, let me just tell you that indian weddings, they are very expensive..from sarees to jewelleries..everything is like frigging expensive!My sis in law’s mom bought for a very expensive saree..trust me when i saw the price tag i almost fainted and wanted to return, 3 digit numbers..gosh!by sis in law’s saree was the worst..it was very expensive..but she is THE BRIDE..so at least worth it la..preparations are really tiring me out..and in the midst of all these i have uni preparations to attend to..which i have not even started!!above all, the problems that i have been facing each night, each day…the same old questions that i can’t seem to answer at all..i am worn out! i know i can just not think about these stuff and lead a happy life, but i have to cos it is my darn life and it is darn pathetic!

Confused!

i really don’t know if i entering a trap, there are constant doubts popping on my mind and i really don’t know what to do…i decided to accept facts and led on, but i don’t know if all i am receiving is a pack of lies?! i mean this is fear in me..and i don’t know what to do about..go with my inner instincts or let my mind rule my decisions in the games of the hearts..so perplexed!are you who you are?or are you deceiving me in every possible way?wise men say experiences make u stronger, i beg to differ!

why is that at the end of each day, i have not still answered any questions that i have asked myself?sometimes i really wish you are by my side to guide me through, cos i can’t seem to see the solution!